Thursday, 19 November 2009

Focus on milking

Following my recent post about my problems with milking, and the wise advice from Miss D, my Mistress has decided that after next weekend I will be kept chaste in my CB6000 until I either learn to orgasm from prostate milking or we get to Christmas.

She has decided on Christmas as the limit as whilst she enjoys having me use my fingers, tongue or toys to pleasure her, she doesn’t want to deprive herself of using me for too long. I do get the impression, however, that if we reach Christmas without my learning to orgasm for her then it will be going on for a long time in the New Year.

Thankfully, my feminisation is progressing much better than my learning to be milked and I now have a wonderful pair of breast forms to fill my new lingerie sets. Mistress wants me in lingerie at all practicable times now along with which I also wear a nightdress to bed and skirts and dresses around the house when we have the place to ourselves.

I still find it difficult to believe how quickly this transformation is happening and how beneficial an impact it is having on our relationship. I am much happier and definately calmer now that I have accepted her authority, and we are more in love now than ever.

It really is soppy, we can’t stop texting and calling each other throughout the day – and it’s great.

Tuesday, 10 November 2009

A special weekend

Mistress booked a trip to our favourite hotel as a relaxing break for the both of us. As a special gift Mistress also booked me in for a full body massage – something I haven’t tried before but always wanted to try.

I was taken out of my CB6000 on Friday evening with strict instructions not to touch. Saturday started very nicely, and after I had brought her morning coffee she decided to make use of me. It was wonderful, but sadly short lived as I came far too quickly, something I notice is becoming more common when I am kept for so long in my CB6000. Thankfully Mistress was very understanding, and I was soon put to use to ensure she had plenty of pleasure.

After tidying and packing we set off via the local town for a short shopping trip. I had shared with Mistress that I’ve longed to wear a bra or panty-girdle, and so as a gift for our weekend Mistress bought me a pretty ivory bra and panty set, along with some lovely white hold-up stockings.

An unexpected, but very welcome surprise was finding a necklace for me that I could wear all the time and that could act as my collar. We have been searching ever since we decided to start this journey but nothing seemed suitable until today.

Unfortunately the traffic was heavier than expected and we were running late when we arrived at the hotel. I was very tense, and really would rather not have gone for my massage. Mistress was, however, insistent and so I went.....and I am so glad. The massage was wonderful, and relaxed me to the point where I thought I would fall asleep.

We returned to our room after Mistress had her massage. Once there she placed my new collar on me and then we made love. It was fantastic; Mistress had several powerful orgasms although I wasn’t allowed to ejaculate as I had failed to come from prostate massage. Mistress is insistent that girls should learn to come when they are penetrated, and that I am no exception.

Not too long ago the absence of an orgasm for me would have made me think the whole session a failure. Not any more, I was so proud of my new collar and felt warm and fuzzy in knowing I had pleased my Mistress. Having said that I felt bad that I hadn’t come as Mistress wanted and I was so horny I could have burst!

To calm me down, Mistress had me take a relaxing bath and then told me to put on my feminine clothes whilst we were in the room. This was the first time I had dressed completely as a woman for Mistress and I was scared she would laugh or find me ludicrous. I needn’t have worried as her reaction was one of love and pride. I felt really good walking around the room in my dress, lingerie and high heels.

All too soon it was time to get ready for dinner and so I had to swap my dress and heels for a suit and shoes. I did, however, get to keep my lingerie on under my suit.

Dinner was truly divine, Mistress, as usual, choosing my meal for me. The food and service was excellent although Mistress and I did drink a touch more than we are used to and ended up grinning at each other all the way back to our room and a deep, relaxing sleep.

After I had brought Mistress her morning coffee, she used me in a most sensuous and relaxed way, then relaxed her rule and let me orgasm outside of my cage. It was wonderful.

I am both fearing and relishing the day when she finally gets me to come from prostate stimulation – as I think that will be the start of me being both used mainly as a girl and spending most of my time secured in the CB6000.

All too soon it was time to check out and head for home and everyday reality. That reality isn’t the same as before though, as I now wear Mistresses’ collar.

Mistress decided to let me stay out of my CB6000 until it was time to return to work. So first thing on Monday morning it went on again with a new numbered tag to record the time and duration of my wearing it. I’m not sure how I will feel about my cage in the months and years to come, but at the moment I love the feeling of ‘belonging’ that it gives me.

Once again the new order in our lives has enabled us to overcome a stressful start to the weekend and let us both have a great time together whereas not too long ago we would have been arguing and tense.

Whilst we undoubtedly have a long way to go this journey seems more and more worthwhile as we travel together.

Wednesday, 4 November 2009

Milking...or not

As part of my ongoing process of feminization and chastity, my wife has been acclimatizing me to anal sex and, as part of this, wants to be able to make me ejaculate from prostate stimulation alone.

She feels that I need to ejaculate regularly to keep me calm and to a lesser extent maintain my health, but doesn’t want to take me from my cage unless it is for her convenience.

Whilst I struggled with this to start with, being far too tight as well as too uptight, I now look forward to both the physical and the psychological sensations of being penetrated. I honestly can’t think of any other single act that makes me feel so possessed by her.

Whether real or imagined I have found I experience the most intense ‘orgasm’ effect throughout my pelvic area after prolonged use in this way, even to the point of having to pee afterwards – a typical effect for me after an orgasm. The problem is, however, that I don’t ejaculate or even leak semen.

I have scoured the internet for hints and tips on how to achieve her desired aim. We have also bought a variety of toys including an Aneros prostate stimulator, dildos and quite a fearsome strap-on. Whilst these are very pleasurable and have given me several internal ‘orgasms’, none of these have yielded the desired ejaculation and I am worried that Mistress may start to lose patience with me.

Friday, 30 October 2009


After a passionate, but turbulent, first few years of our marriage we have decided to try the concept of a Wife Led Marriage.

It took a lot for me to approach my wife with the initial suggestion. We have always had a very male dominated relationship, and I've always been the 'in charge' person in my business and personal life but things just weren't working for us.

I had long harboured a secret desire to be submissive to a woman, but had suppressed it as it always seemed 'unmanly', weak and not something likely to attract the kind of woman I wanted. It was that fear of rejection that held me back from raising the subject for so long. I was terrified that she would hold me in contempt, despise me and see me as pathetic.

In spite of my fears, things became so difficult that I managed to find the courage to talk to her about the concept. I can't say she jumped for joy but thankfully, she agreed to try it out and see what impact it had on our relationship.

That was nearly two months ago and things have changed dramatically, and for the better.

The most obvious change is in our sex life. She now controls it totally and whilst she has orgasm as and when she wishes I have agreed to let her decide when, or if, I may have mine. The change in focus, where I concentrate on pleasing her without caring for my own satisfaction is proving to be both highly arousing and liberating at the same time.

I shared with her my fantasy of wearing some elements of female clothing as a symbol of my submission and she has agreed to allow some aspects of it in our relationship

As a daily reminder of the new state of affairs, I now wear female panties and tights under my day wear, indeed my male underwear has been thrown away. I would never have believed how this relatively minor thing could have had such a dramatic change to my emotions. It's made me feel comforted, aroused, submissive and aware of her and her control.

Alongside this, we bought a CB6000 chastity belt which I wear most of the time. Initially this was at my suggestion, but thankfully she absolutely loves it and keeps me in for as long as she feels appropriate.

Less obvious, but far more profound, has been the change in our everyday lives. I have agreed that she has the final say on all aspects of our life; when we go out, what we buy, where we holiday, how we decorate the house. All of these things used to cause conflict between us, but now its so relaxed. This probably wouldn't have worked so well if we had fundamentally differing aims and needs but the truth was we usually argued over the little things.

The end result of these changes has been that we have had the best two months of our relationship so far. Lets see how things progress.