Friday, 22 January 2010

A hectic few months

Not sure where to start this as the last few months have been an absolute whirl both in my work life and what I have come to realise is my very real transformation to Deni.

On the work front I have been away in middle and central Europe for most of the time, which has been exhausting but fun too. Having to buy tights, panty pads and wear lingerie all the time posed a few problems too until I screwed up enough courage to stop being embarrassed and just use the hotel shop and laundry. I’m sure the staff in the hotel shop recognised me as I made my regular purchases but they never said anything. Another threshold crossed I guess.

On one our rare free weekends Mistress took me to a wonderful shop in London called ‘Transformation’. It’s dedicated to TV/CD men and holds a truly great range of things guaranteed to make you simper with glee! As this was to have been the first time anyone would see me as a TV I was terrified going in there but as it happens I needn’t have been.

The staff were great, very matter-of-fact and very supportive. I was shocked, but really pleased, when they recognised the dynamic between Mistress and I and addressed her first when talking about me and referred to me as ‘she’ and ‘girl’.
We will definitely be going back there.

After a lot of browsing and trying on Mistress bought me a pair of black patent high heels that I am slowly learning to walk in, and I love the look and feel of them.

The following day Mistress took me away for a city break but I’ll put the details of that in another blog.

Due to my travels the plans for my chastity were altered somewhat. I still wore the CB6000 whilst I was away but Mistress wanted to play with me when I got home so off it came and so did I .

Now I am based at home for the immediate future we are back on track and Mistress has told me that I won’t be let out until the end of January at the earliest. She has become a great fan of the ‘feeldoe’ strapon we bought and is determined that I learn to orgasm whilst being used in my pussy as she has decreed my bottom shall be described.

Whilst on that topic, Mistress has moved things on a bit and now whenever we are alone Mistress used the feminine form of address to me and I am called ‘Deni’; my penis is always referred to as my ‘clitty’ and my bottom as my ‘pussy’. It sounds a small thing but over the last few months it really has start to bed into my psyche. I wonder when one of us will slip in public ?

More profound for me was the realisation last night that I now prefer to be the ‘fuckee’ rather than the ‘fucker’. I wonder where this is going?
Wherever it leads we are both happier than we have been in a very long time.

I'll try not to leave the next post so long.




  1. Very good gurl, deni.. I was beginning to think you had disappeared. But, I'm glad to see that your femming is continuing.

    I can see that Mistress is making very positive strides forward with you. I doubt that you'll have any great difficulty with your heels. And now that you prefer to be entered, rather than entering, I see that your fate is all but sealed.

    I suppose that getting your feminine intimates cleaned in the hotel was a big step for you - but, after all - a gurl does need her intimates kept clean. After such a long period of chastity, I imagine you do a lot of leaking... It's only a matter of time deni, soon, you'll be dressed like a gurl, acting like a gurl and cumming like a gurl.

    What will deni be then? hmmmm?

    Miss D

  2. Thankyou Miss D.

    Yes, it does feel like we have made a huge step in our journey and one that I don't think can be undone.

    Before we started this I didnt really think of cross dressing or any other TG/TV/TS issues. But it seem that after the last few months I am really questioning how we will live going forward. I am rather large and quite muscular and really wont 'pass' - but increasingly I find wearing feminine clothes and behaving in a feminine manner more 'natural'.

    Whatever the challenges, Im sure we will overcome them as we both are so much happier this way.

    As for leaking, Mistress has already provided me with an ample supply of panty pads! :-)


  3. Don't worry about your physical stature deni. Being a gurl comes from the inside out. If being femmed seems more natural to you then that is what you need to do. Even a large gurl can be quite feminine - all it takes is proper training and the inner will to be so. Instead of worrying about "passing", accept that you are better off as a gurl and do your best to embrace your femininity. You'll be much happier.

    Miss D

  4. Please post an update. It has been too long.